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CHAPTER 1
Intro to The Day the Feds Came Calling
It has been well-documented throughout history that people from around the world have come to America in search of a better way of life. Aaahhhh, America, land of the free and home of the brave. I believe that at some point in every American’s life, the thought of achieving the American dream seems like a very attainable goal— fame, fortune, freedom, family. Everyone has their own version of what the American dream is. The strong and determined stop at nothing to achieve their goals, while the weak and lazy make lame efforts filled with excuses as to why they were destined to fail
My name is Thomas J. Foley III. I chose to be relentless in the pursuit of my version of the American dream. I put the pedal to the metal and drove with determination. Failure was not an option. Yes, my efforts toward the American dream were blessed beyond my wildest dreams; that is, of course, until the day the feds came calling.
As I look out of my window, I am taken in by the breathtaking view. I can see the port of Miami with huge cruise ships setting sail for exotic destinations.
I can see South Beach with all its luxurious high-rise buildings. I can see the intercoastal waterway alive with speedboats and luxurious yachts. Finally, I can see parts of downtown Miami with its huge business skyscrapers gleaming in the sun. People from around the world pay millions of dollars for this exact view, but from the eleventh floor of the Miami Federal Detention Center, I get this view for free. So who’s better than me?
I have a story that needs to be told. This is a true story about my life and how I wound up in federal prison. At this very moment, life sucks for me, but how I got here is a whole ’nother story. Is ’nother even a real word? Who gives a shit? It’s my book, and in my book, ’nother is a real word. Okay, grab yourself a cocktail, kick back, and read about the rise and fall of an average Joe who had nothing, got everything, and then butted heads with the United States of America.
Here’s a book disclaimer: Kids, don’t try this at home. I promised myself that if I ever did write a book about my life and how I wound up in prison, I would tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God. I am not proud of many stages of my life or the fact that I shit on a lot of people. Some of the memories that I am going to share with you are humiliating to me. Some of the memories I am about to tell you will hurt people that are very close to me. Some of the memories I am about to share with you are so painful that I cried the whole time I put them
on paper. So why do it then? Because my family and friends that have supported me my entire life deserve to hear the truth come out of my mouth, once and for all.
For once in my life, I will not tell lies. The world deserved better from me. So I dedicate the rest of my life to make this crazy world a better place to live. Please don’t get me wrong. I like who I am. I have done plenty in the past to help other people on this planet. I just know that I could have and should have made better choices in my life. As the great Robert De Niro said in the movie A Bronx Tale, “There is nothing worse than wasted talent.” That’s how I see myself at this point, a guy who chose to waste his talents.
I would also like to apologize in advance for the awful words and phrases that I use from time to time. I truly mean nothing by it. I use words like fag, bitch, cunt, fuck, shit, retard, and dickhead; well, you get the point. I tend to make fun of everyone, including myself, but at the end of the day, I have no enemies. I am not a racist, and I do not discriminate against people because of their race, religion, ethnicity, political views, or sexual orientation. Certain people tend to piss me off in life, and what comes out of my mouth when I describe those people cannot be controlled. I like to get my point across in a very harsh manner sometimes. If stuff like that offends you, then I suggest you stop reading at this point; you are probably some tightly wound ass wipe that has never gotten laid in any place other than a bed. Go get yourself some therapy.
I hope this book acts as a wake-up call for some of you. If I can stop even one person from following down the path that I chose in life, then this book was worth writing. I can’t possibly tell you every crazy event in my life in one book; it would be like trying to read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica at one time. For now, the major events that shaped my life are in this book, and trust me, that is enough for now.
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